I love my coworkers/friends they always tell me how happy I am in despite of how I feel. I keep it real and always spark laughter out of every conversation. I GET that ALWAYS I HEAR IT ALWAYS ….MY NAME SPEAKS for ME! That speaks volume!
Secret: I pray, I let go, and I LET GOD!
It was a typical Tuesday having lunch with my coworkers. We laugh, talk about our students and their parents, and joke about…hmmm! Can’t say…lol! One of my coworkers had to leave early and make copies before our 30 minutes break was over.
Another coworker and I stayed back and I asked, “What are your plans for Valentines’ Day?’ She looked at me with a popped-eye and said, “I hate Valentine’s Day!” I gasp! Then proceeded to ask her, why?” She started to cry and cry because I assumed it was too over whelming for her. I continue to console her and told her you don’t have to tell me. She looked at me and said, “Joy I just love your spirit and wish I had an ounce of your self-love.” I was flatter and sad all at once because here I am consoling her and she giving me props where I should feel happy.
Well, it was time for us to go and get our students. I told her I would get our students and get your self together and meet me on the playground. When she came out she just smiled at and hugged me. She whispered in my ear and said, “I’ll tell you the story later because you need to know…!” Inside my mega mind I was like I need to know.
Over two hours until our next break I was wondering what was she going to tell me. She killed someone, she ate someone, she, she…my mind was racing! Now this time I’m suppose to be teaching, BUT my mind was spinning all over the place. I am using spinning very lightly! Now the clock strikes…break!
Once we dropped our kids off at their perspective place we met in my classroom. She sat down at my students’ table. She grabbed a napkin trying to stop the tears. “You really don’t have to tell me…?” I told her. She said, “I must tell you.” Now we only have a forty-minutes to talk including retrieving our kids from class.
Coworker is speaking: When I was 31 I was in a committed relationship for over a year. My ex and I met over a dating site. When we met I really like what I saw. I was so in love with him. I did almost anything for him because this was my first real relationship that I could remember since high school. When I was sick he was there. When I didn’t have a car he would take me places. He brought me lunch several times to work. I jus loved him. He was my all and all.
Probably about nine months into the relationship I noticed a change in him. He wouldn’t answer my phones calls as fast. He would say I’d call you back. He tends to make excuses to wanting to go out. He would make comments like “why you’re getting big…” “Why don’t I go to the gym…” and comments like that. He met me big. Am starting to feel bad because he is seems to be falling out of love with me. I tried talking to him. (She’s crying as she’s telling me the story.) I tried everything and the more I tried the more it seemed to get worst.
Well, Valentine’s Day is three weeks away. I was excited because I never had a “real boyfriend” to celebrate this time with. Despite how I think he’s feeling about me I still wanted to plan an exciting day just because it is Valentine’s Day.
I set up a fancy date and I was going to ask him to move in with me. I was so excited! The day came and I mailed him a Valentine’s Day card a week prior, I call him to say happy Valentine’s Day. He never picked up and I never received a call for about a few hours later into the day. He finally called and said, “Happy Valentine’s Day.” We spoke for about three minutes. I felt weary in my stomach after the hang up. Well, later that night I was at the restaurant. In the card had directions to the restaurant and a copy of my house keys. I sat and waited. I sat and waited. I ate appetizer to pass the time away. I sat and waited. It is now two hours. I called seven times no answer.
I left. I cried in the car so loud. I cried all the way to his house. I noticed his car was at home. Oh wow, I thought. I went to his door and I hear music. Don’t see anyone as I am looking through his living room window and it is slightly dark. I knocked on the door no answered. I walked around to his bedroom, looked into his room, and Lord and behold he was having sex not with one person, but two chicks. (I couldn’t believe I was hearing this. Still thought why tell me.)
I silently screamed! I was so mad I threw two big rocks into his bedroom. I cried. I cried. I CRIED. I WANTED TO KILL MYSLEF. I had all these thoughts inside to burn them and him.
He called the police. I left before they came because it was his words against mine. He put a restraining order out on me and I never felt the same about Valentine’s Day. I hate the day because it brings back too much negative memories! My self-esteem went down. That is why I wear a lot of black. I just don’t care about life. I just teach because I need the job.When I see you with your bubbly self, promoting life, self love, I want to be like that, like you. It has been twelve years since and I want a change.
I gave her a hug and I pray with and for her. I told her you don’t have to hate you or him. First, forgive and Let God handle your battle. Valentine’s Day is everyday. It is a process. Rome was not built in a day. I am making a vow to help her with self-love and getting to love her like it s Valentine’s Day everyday! I’LL KEEP YOU POSTED!
Remember to always love you and never leave you out of the equation! Happy Love Day!