Why Not Me?

Have you ever said these words, “Why not me?” of course not! Many people do not go around and say such words, but when you’ve been through the hell I’ve gone through you may want to thank God for such words and ambling you to get out of such tragic situations and bringing you out of it! Why NOT me?


Like, many African American women I have fibroids. THERE, IT’S OUT! I’ll save the explanation on what are fibroids, but back to my story!

I have  had these “things” for a while, but they really haven’t been a bother, only when I am on my period. When I get my period, its like the flood gates open. I will ruin everything I have for at least a day or two depending how bad my uterus decides it wants to keep vomiting. When she lets go, she lets out palm size blood clots that’s almost have a sound when it drops when falling from my vagina, if I am standing. Sitting is worst. If I am sitting it conjugates all at the door of vagina and when I stand the IMG_0822

heavens open, it let go and blood starts to drip on my legs, my “10 hour” pad only works for less than 30 minutes, underwear is saturated, and outfit from the back looks like a murder scene. The hell these “things” put me through is unbelievable!

Well, enough is enough! I went to see my gynecologist to have my annual pap, but unfortunately my period came on. I went to see my doctor anyway. Dr. Niles insisted that he wanted to test my iron and see if I made any improvements, in which I didn’t! I felt it! Early Monday morning Dr. Niles’ office called me and reported that my iron is a 5. In order to be considered normal you need to be a 14 plus. If you are in between 14-11 you are deemed anemia, but can function and need medicines. If you’re


below 11 you are hitting the danger zone, for which I was in. I WAS A 5! Scary!

Later that night my body must got a whimsy of the number and I felt extra tired. This wasn’t your typical tried. This tired was body was heavy, heavy breathing, and just trying to function on what you have to do next.

Dr. Niles told me I needed to see my hematologist. I went in the next day and they took my blood. Routine! The result, I was 4.9. All thoughts were running through my mind. Trying not to cry in the doctor’s office because of the options I had to face. The doctor said, “You look amazing…!” I said, “It’s God…!” Basically, the doctor thought with numbers so low I would be slumped over, dragging my feet, and looking a mess when she saw me. In reality, I was all of that internally. Externally I look pretty ok.

The words I did not want to hear…”You will need a blood transfusion…today, immediately! You are hurting your heart and other organs…” I wanted to cry, but I kept it together. Got in the car and bawl!

I had to break the news to my mother, for which she lives in Florida and wanted to be here, but told here not to worry, God got me and have a great support system if needing any help. I bawl again!

A day passed and I was scheduled to have the blood transfusion. I am crying consistently! Tissues didn’t have a chance. I sat in the seat, I cried…again! My mind wasn’t trying to grasp the matter that I was having a blood transfusion. I cried! I cried some more! Finally, I had to have a self-talk and prayed about what IMG_0828

 the goodness of God is going to do and how this will help me. I uttered the words

Why Not Me?

Great, the needle is in and I have wait till the saline go in and that takes about 30 minutes. Later, the nurse brings in a pouch of blood, connects it to the IV, and slowly it funnels its way down into my system.

After an hour and half the bag is almost completed and I started crying and praying. The nurse comes over and ask., “is everything ok…?” My reply was, “I am ok,” in a very faint voice. Internally Jesus was walking me through it and sometimes tears was my only language of expressing how I was really feeling, how I wanted out, how Iknew I was chosen, and have to trust Him that He will bring me through this.

On to the second bag! The nurse connected me to the bag and the waiting game began. They served me a turkey sandwich, cookies, apple juice, and apple, which was pretty good. Plus, I was hungry!


The bag is coming to an end, but I started to get the chills, could not stop shaking, and my fingers were cold. They wrapped me with blankets and put a heating air inside the blanket to calm me down and 10 minutes later I was ok. The blood is over. I waited for 30 minutes before leaving. Walking was a little strange because I sat for almost 8 hours straight. I drove myself home. I called my mom and my friend Denise to let them I was ok and able to drive home. I coughed a few times once I left the hospital, but didn’t think anything of it

The real drama begins…

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